


The Breaking of a Heart

by hellowkatey



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e16 The Lawless, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obitine, Post-Episode: s05e16 The Lawless, Protective Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellowkatey/pseuds/hellowkatey
Summary: Obi-Wan is on Mandalore to help Satine, but Maul prevails and takes his revenge. Anakin feels a disturbance in the Force.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Comments: 4
Kudos: 219





	The Breaking of a Heart

Obi-Wan Kenobi can feel himself losing control. 

Darth Maul is sitting before him, slumped comfortably upon the throne of Mandalore. Next to him, his monster of a brother. 

How Maul managed to get this band of criminals together is beyond his comprehension. Right now, all he can focus on is Satine. 

His dear Satine, hovering above the ground with her hands pawing at her neck desperately as Maul holds her in a tight Force grip. 

"Your emotions betray you," Maul says in that raspy voice that has come to haunt Obi-Wan's dreams. He stands, taking the duchess along with him. "Your fear, and yes..." 

Obi-Wan's gaze drops to the ground as he tries his hardest to push down the very anger Maul is referring to.

"Your anger! Let your anger deepen your hatred." His words hit Obi-Wan like a blaster to the stomach. His jaw tightens as he tries to breathe through the emotions that are trying their might to make themselves palpable. He mustn't lose control. Not like when Qui-Gon died. Obi-Wan won't let himself draw from the dark side to defeat Maul for a second time. No. He will do it as a Jedi this time.

"Don't... listen to them, Obi." Satine musters, and as if she personally drained his body of the anger and fear he finds his center once again. 

"You can kill me," Obi-Wan says, finally bringing his gaze back up to make direct eye contact with the Sith. "but you will never destroy me. It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the _weak_ embrace it." 

The Mandalorian guard jerks him backward. Maul glares at Obi-Wan. 

"The dark side is more powerful than you know." 

"And those who oppose it are more powerful than you'll ever be."

Maul growls at Obi-Wan's words turning back towards the throne. He's walking a dangerous line with the approach he's taking, but if he can get Maul to attack him then Satine may have a chance to run. Or at least not have an invisible hand wrapped around her windpipe. 

"I know where you're from," Obi-Wan continues, leaning closer to Maul. He ignores the pulling of the guards. "I've been to your village. I know the decision to join the dark side wasn't yours. The Nightsisters made it for--"

"Silence," Maul lashes out, turning back to Obi-Wan. The rage makes his yellow eyes seem to glow even brighter. "You think you know me? It was I who languished for years thinking of nothing but _you_ ," he approaches Obi-Wan threatening, jabbing a finger at him. "Nothing but this moment," Maul points at Satine, kicking her dangling legs helplessly. Tears form in her eyes and his anger floods back in an instant. "and now... the perfect tool for my vengeance is in front of us." 

Maul pulls out the dark saber. Obi-Wan's heart starts racing and his throat grows tight as Satine's flailing body begins to hover forward. 

"I never planned on killing you," his words slice into the Jedi. "But I will make you share my pain, _Kenobi."_

* * *

Being back on Coruscant feels strange sometimes. Anakin spends so much time off-world that he tends to feel out of sorts when he's back in the city. It's a welcomed out of sorts though because he gets to see his lovely Padmé and get some much-needed rest. 

"Hey Snips," Anakin taps Ahsoka's shoulder, who is deeply enthralled in a datapad. "you seen Obi-Wan?" She looks up, shaking her head.

"Sorry Master, not since he was called into a meeting." 

Anakin's eyebrows knit together. "A meeting? For what?" 

"I dunno. Probably something boring and procedural." 

Anakin smirks. "Knowing him, probably." 

Ahsoka places her datapad in her lap and looks up at her master. "Why do you need Master Kenobi?" 

Anakin shrugs. "We were supposed to grab dinner but he never showed." 

"Maybe he got sidetracked. You know how he gets." 

"I guess, but it's unlike him to not call with whatever his explanation is." Anakin glances down at his comlink. No messages or incoming transmission. 

"Did you go to his quarters?" 

"Not yet. I was going--" Suddenly Anakin is flushed with the sickening feeling of nausea and dizziness. His hand draws in to rest over his stomach and the other one grabs onto the back of the bench Ahsoka was sitting on. 

"Master?" Ahsoka says, but it's muffled and seems far away. Anakin's head begins pounding and he's flooded with this sensation of... agony and pain. He nearly topples over before it completely dissipates, leaving him only a minor pressure in his head. He opens his eyes-- when did he even close them?-- to find Ahsoka now standing, both her hands on his shoulders. "Master, what just happened?" 

"I..." Anakin's head feels foggy. "I don't know. I think... it was some sort of disturbance in the Force." 

"You look pale, do you need to go to the healers?" 

"No, no. I... I think it's passing. I just don't--" then the realization dawns on him. The source of the familiarity he felt in the Force signature. "I need to find Obi-Wan." He brushes Ahsoka's hands off of him and bolts down the hall towards Obi-Wan's quarters. He can hear the patter of Ahsoka running after him. Obi-Wan's quarters are near to his. He enters the passcode and the door to the small quarters slides open. 

He's not there. Anakin walks into the room, scanning over the orderly bed and clean desk. Ahsoka catches up, gripping the doorframe as she watches Anakin walk slowly through the room. 

"What's going on? What's wrong with Master Obi-Wan?" 

"I don't know yet," Anakin says. He's short with her but he's trying to concentrate. His gaze falls on a set of robes neatly folded on the back of his desk chair. He picks up the robes and from underneath drops his obi and belt. "Ahsoka, how many robes are hanging up in Obi-Wan's closet?" 

Ahsoka looks confused but she enters the room and opens the small wardrobe. "Five." 

"What about his cloak?" 

"It's here too." 

Anakin feels his heartbeat in his temple. He turns, holding Obi-Wan's tunic in his hands. 

"What does this mean?" she asks, staring at the beige cloth in his hand. 

"Obi-Wan only owns six sets of robes. And only one belt." 

"So if all six are here..." 

"I need to talk to the council right now." 

* * *

There are moments that feel much longer than their actual elapsed time. It's like the maker has a twisted sense of humor, stretching out the worst moments in life like a twist of a dagger. 

She was floating there. Struggling but alive in the grips of Maul's power. Struggling but _alive_. It happened so quickly at first. He was thrown to the ground, only looking up as she was drawn closer. 

Then the dark saber ignited by the hand of Obi-Wan's oldest adversary. 

The blade shot straight into the abdomen of Satine. His Satine. Duchess of Mandalore. Pacifist, Satine. And she reaches out for him, gasping for air.

He looked into her eyes and the panic and the shock spread through them. She slumped to the ground and the guards didn't hold Obi-Wan back from running forward to pick her up off the ground. He didn't even know what to say. His mouth was stuck slightly ajar from shock and the sob that he was suppressing in his throat. He rolled her into his lap, holding her weakening body in his arms and brushing the hair so he can see her entire face. 

"Satine," he says breathlessly as her eyes flutter open to gaze up at him. Obi-Wan can feel her heartbeat beneath his fingers and numbness in his limbs, slowing as she grunts and gasps. And yet, she looks at him with this stoic strength. Like life is not bleeding out of that damned wound going through her body. 

"Remember my dear Obi-Wan," she says without a single break in her voice. Her hand reaches up to cup his cheek and he leans into her touch. "I've loved you always." Her fingers trace his cheekbone as her eyelids begin to droop. The numbness spreads through him even more, encapsulating his chest and making him feel like he cannot breathe. "I always will," she whispers. 

Words of goodbye. A final reminder.

And her hand drops from her face, falling limp at her side. 

Obi-Wan feels like he's the one who has been stabbed. The world around him is nothing but static as he draws her lifeless body into his chest, pressing his lips to the back of her hand as his final goodbye. He barely registers the guards approaching. 

He feels nothing as the guards pick him off of the ground, forcing him to leave her body laid out on the floor of her palace. He feels absolutely empty. Emotionless. He's not even angry just... completely empty. He can feel the grief lingering in the shadows. It will take him once he comes out of this state of shock. 

* * *

Anakin bursts through the doors of the council briefing room. Masters Yoda and Windu are standing around a holo table. 

"Skywalker what is--"

"Where is Obi-Wan?"

Mace and Yoda look at one another before Yoda steps forward. 

"Something wrong, there is?" 

"I think..." he looks between the masters. They seem confused. If they didn't send him on a mission then where could he be? "I think I felt a disturbance in the Force." 

"What kind of disturbance?" Mace asks impatiently. 

"I'm not sure, it made me dizzy and nauseous and I--I felt like something could be wrong." 

"Master Kenobi is the source, you feel?" 

"I was just looking for him... for his guidance on this. I'm sorry for interrupting, I will find him." 

Anakin bows to the masters and exits the room before they can question him further. He walks quickly down the corridor. Ahsoka, who was waiting outside the council room appears at his side once again. 

"What did they say?" 

"They don't know where he is." 

"Then where are you going?" 

"Following a lead." 

Anakin marches into the main hanger, going to the far end. He puts in a code and a smaller room opens up. It's a workshop of sorts, full of random parts and tools. Anakin made friends with the maintenance crew as a kid and they let him keep his ship restoration projects there. 

Sure enough, there's an empty space where the most recent ship he worked on used to sit. 

"Blast it, Obi-Wan," he whispers, hitting his hand against the side of the wall. "He took one of my ships."

"So he's gone? That doesn't make any sense." 

Anakin rubs his chin, trying to think about if Obi-Wan gave any indication on if he was going to be going somewhere. 

"He had a meeting with Master Windu and Master Yoda, so they must have told him _something_ that made him leave so suddenly." 

"Why don't you ask them?" 

"Ahsoka, if the council doesn't know he's gone, I could get him in a lot of trouble." 

"What if he's in trouble though?" 

Anakin chews on his lower lip. "I don't... I don't know." 

"Mandalore Master Kenobi was called to." Ahsoka and Anakin whirl around to find Master Yoda standing in the doorway.

"Mandalore?" Ahsoka's eyes widen. "What is he doing there?" 

"A friend in need, I suspect." 

Satine. Anakin thinks back to the conversation he overheard when the duchess was taken, hostage. _"Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order."_ He's wanted to bring it up for so long but couldn't find the right way to do it. 

"We have to help him!" 

Yoda shakes his head. "An official mission it is not. Do this on his own, Master Kenobi must." 

Anakin bites back his outrage. He _knows_ something is wrong and Yoda is still asking him to sit here and do nothing? Ahsoka told him of the unrest on Mandalore. He could be captured or hurt or... no he's not dead. Anakin is sure he would feel it if he were dead. 

"If he sends out a transmission that he needs help... can we help him then?" Ahsoka asks, eyeing Anakin's clenched fists. 

"We shall see. Reassess if the time comes." 

"Thank you, Master Yoda. For telling us." 

"Trust in your Master, young Skywalker. Ask for help if he needs it he will." The Grandmaster leaves the pair in the shop. Ahsoka puts a hand on Anakin's shoulder. 

"What are you going to do, Master?" 

Anakin sighs, looking down at his young padawan. She looks worried, but she has this glimmer of determination in her eye. 

"We're going to wait for him to return."

She looks surprised. "Really? I thought we'd already be taking off by now." 

"Master Yoda is right. Obi-Wan knows what he's doing. He'll find a way to contact us if he needs help." 

She shakes her head. "I guess. I just can't believe he left against the council's orders like that. What could have possibly made him do that?" 

_Love,_ Anakin thinks. _It's got to be love._

* * *

The lights of hyperspace only barely distract from the numbness that has occupied Obi-Wan's body since escaping Mandalore. He feels like he's going crazy. 

Maybe he is. 

His lack of sadness is what is freaking him out the most. He feels like he should be an absolute wreck, but so far the only thing he can do is stare forward into the swirling lights of the passing stars and systems. 

He can still feel her touch along his cheek. Her voice echoing in his head. 

_"I've loved you always."_

He just wishes he had been able to say it back.

A tear rolls down his cheek. He hadn't realized he was close to crying. He brushes it away, only for it to be replaced by another. 

The ship comes out of hyperspace and the twinkling lights of Coruscant appear before him. 

* * *

It was storming on Coruscant when a Mandalorian ship was reported to be entering the space. Anakin immediately went down to the landing pad to meet it. He watched with nervous anticipation as it landed and the engines turned off. Moments later the ramp dropped. 

A figure clad in red armor walks slowly down the ramp. Without a helmet, Anakin can see his auburn hair and a thick beard, though his face is tucked downward. The rain immediately soaks him, though he doesn't seem to notice at the slow rate he's walking. Obi-Wan usually walks everywhere like he's running late, but for some reason, his feet are dragging, kicking up the puddles that have formed on the landing pad. Anakin's heart pounds in his chest. Maybe he's injured. Or tired. Either way, something is very wrong.

He walks out from his hiding space, meeting Obi-Wan as he enters the hanger to escape the downpour. He looks up at Anakin when he realizes his presence. Anakin draws in a breath in surprise. 

He looks awful. His hair is drenched, hanging down into his face and sticking to his forehead. He has a massive bruise from above his eyebrow down to the opposite cheek, and the armor that he's wearing-- Mandalorian armor it seems-- is covered in blaster burns and... blood. 

"Obi-Wan..." Anakin says softly when he meets the master Jedi's eyes. They're dull and glassy. Not a single spark of his usual energy behind them. He just looks back at Anakin with an unreadable expression. 

His eyes are puffy. Like he's been crying. Anakin doesn't think he's seen Obi-Wan cry since... maybe Qui-Gon. 

"I'm sorry about your ship. I shouldn't have taken it but--" 

"It's okay. It was a bucket of bolts anyways." 

"I think I would have been better off riding a droid through hyperspace." 

They stare at one another for another long moment. The tension between them is palpable. 

"Red really isn't your color, you know," Anakin says, glancing down at Obi-Wan's armor. 

"I agree with you on that." 

Anakin can't take it anymore. He steps toward Obi-Wan, his voice low. "Obi-Wan I... I felt a disturbance in the Force a few days ago. Are you... are you okay?"

Obi-Wan's head drops and he looks at the ground. When he looks back up there are tears in his eyes. Anakin immediately grabs the man's arm and pulls him into the workshop, closing the door behind them. In their privacy, he closes the distance between them and hugs him. The Mandalorian armor is slightly painful to have pressed into his chest but as Obi-Wan processes what is happening and hugs his padawan back with the same desperation, he ignores the sharp corners digging into his skin. 

"Maul killed her," he says into Anakin's shoulder. His voice breaks slightly. "She's gone." 

Anakin presses his other hand to the back of Obi-Wan's head softly as his words hang in the air heavily. The disturbance he had felt-- the pain and agony that shot out through the Force-- was not a physical ailment. It was the feeling of Obi-Wan losing someone he loves. The literal feeling of his heart breaking. 

Anakin holds his master tightly for a few more moments before he draws back. His tears are dried to his face, but he appears to be a little more present than he was before. Even so, he's trembling. Anakin isn't sure if it's from the cold or from how upset he is.

"I'm so sorry," Anakin says. 

"So am I." 

* * *

Obi-Wan feels like he's walking in another's body. Anakin takes him back to his quarters after he intercepting him on the landing pad. He convinced Obi-Wan not to go apologise to the council. He can explain himself when he's not covered in blood and beskar steel. He made him a cup of tea while Obi-Wan showered away the blood and grime. Being back in his usual robes made him feel more himself, but only a little bit. 

Jasmine was her favorite tea. The aroma spreads through the room as he steps out of the fresher. It's his favorite tea too, but he feels he won't be able to drink it anymore. He still accepts the cup from his padawan who is hovering and watching Obi-Wan closely. Like he'll snap at any moment. 

Obi-Wan knows he won't snap. He feels absolutely dreadful now, but with persistent meditation and maybe a visit to the mind healers he will release this grief and sadness into the Force. He continued on after Qui-Gon's death. He will do it again. 

"I can... stay if you want the company." Anakin offers as Obi-Wan sits down on his cot. He looks at the young knight but he sees the eyes of a young boy. He has a strong face on, but this can't be easy for him to see. Obi-Wan realizes that Anakin views him as sort of a father figure. He always finds this funny because to him, Anakin is practically a brother. They sure bicker like brothers, at least.

He pats the cot next to him.

"Would you like to meditate with me?" 

Anakin pushes off the wall he was leaning against and walks towards the cot. For Anakin to willingly do extra meditation he knows he's trying to be there for him. Obi-Wan wholeheartedly appreciates the gesture. He slides over to make room for him. Anakin sits down, folding his legs in front of him. 

Obi-Wan closes his eyes. He concentrates on Anakin's even breaths to help pull him into a meditative trance. 

He sees her. Staring up at him with glassy eyes. _"I always will."_ Her last words. A promise. A statement of forgiveness. 

She wasn't just reminding him of her feelings towards him. She was releasing him. Urging him not to feel guilty. That he tried. He did his job-- the job he chose over her so many years ago. 

Did he make the right decision?

Yes. He is a Jedi. He doesn't regret the life he chose. 

What he does feel remorse for is that he had to hurt her by leaving. To say to her face that he couldn't ever love her back because of the life he was choosing. But that was the wonderful thing about Satine. She knew who he was. She understood his sense of duty-- hell, she had her own demands she had to meet. Their window had passed, and though he often thought about her and knew in his heart that a part of him would always harbor those feelings for her, he still stayed as true as he could to his teachings. To the order. 

Her death is a tragedy. One that will haunt him likely for the rest of his life. But for now, he will push forward. He will bring Maul to justice. And he will end this war so he can honor her memory be reclaiming his role as a peacekeeper. 

It's what she would have wanted.


End file.
